Many monogamous people who haven’t spent time in polyamorous communities assume that polyamorists are somehow immoral or undisciplined, largely because they’ve been taught that monogamy is the only valid way to express love. From a young age, most of us are socialized to equate exclusivity with devotion, possession with loyalty, and sexual restraint with moral integrity. In that framework, anyone who practices love outside those bounds is framed as unstable, selfish, or ruled by desire. But poly